2L + 2T

2L + 2T . What kind of formula is that?

that's Life-Lies mix with Truth-Trust . Yeah, 4 important aspects and I just realize that.


God show me a truth that involves lies and trust. Yes, it's about that Melbourne guy. We had a tough days lately. He disappeared for like two weeks. Then he showed up just like that, told me that he was sorry and he had a problem. Then I pray for him. I support him no matter what. I tried to be there with him, to be a good listener. I even gave him space to just take a time for himself.


Then, I saw his update news from Facebook. He told everybody that he's on Japan then came the Tsunami. I was worried. I pray and  try to contacted him, but he didn't reply.


Until yesterday, I contacted him. He said he was well. Then, suddenly my friend told me that he met that Melbourne Guy last week in BINTARO,JAKARTA, INDONESIA. THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT ON TIME WHEN HE WAS IN JAPAN.


Then, I asked him. just to make sure. Then he told me that I STALKED HIM! My Gosh! after I pray for him and trying soooo hard to make this relationship goes well, he just pointed me and said that I stalked him.


I can't even cry over that words. Thank God, He gave me strength last night. I was patiently told him the facts and told him  that I'm okay if he's in Jakarta and didn't want to meet me.


He just kept pointed me that I was a liar and I stalked him. Until at one point he just can't say that again and just be cool and told me that he didn't want to tell me whether it's the truth or not.


It's really sad. I mean, I even set my future with him (see my previous post) and even my life after college. I did nothing wrong. I sacrifice my time and always patient for him.


I really don't know what to do next. He's just hard to forget. It's not easy to just forget him and move on. I fall for him.


But I try to tell myself repeatedly that he's not worth to cry. I try to see this problem into many sides. Maybe he is having a problem so he comes to Jakarta. To solve those problems, not for vacation. Or maybe he's just a jerk. I don't have any rights to judge. I just pray that God doesn't punish him so bad. He was an important part of my life. He might need to have the consequence. But, I don't know. maybe something that just show him that life is precious and by respecting 
people, especially women, you use your time wisely. 


No one can make him realize that I may the only girl that sacrifice that much for him, that I am worth it. 
God is the only one who can make him realize. I leave it to God. I surrender all.






Anyways, wish me luck. Hope I can give a good news in the next post. :) bless you all!

emma goes to her future

Hai,


Today I'm gonna talk about my future. Yeah, as you all know, I often change my future plan. 


Anndddd,today I ,maybe, finally have my mind focus on my future.


For the short-term, I want to get a nice grade for all my subjects in Psychology of Industrial and Organization .Then, I'll take "seminar" this year. So, next year (pleaseeee oh dear God) I can continue to "Skripsi". And then, I graduated.


Okay, nooow. Life after graduate.

I'm considering for a few plans:


1. Married (MY NO.1 LIST! yeaah!)
2. Working (international company in Jakarta or go to Melbourne)
3. Taking a scholarship for master degree in Melbourne




Now, As you can see. it's all point to Melbourne. Why? You know why. (nb: read my previous blog ;p)
Yeah, maybe I'm in love with him or just attracted to him. Don't know yet, but I'm gonna take this relationship seriously. I don't want to take any silly-fun only-relationship. I have a dream to married in young age. I'm gonna be 22 years old this year and that is not that young, right? I will chase my dream! hehehe.
If I can spend the rest of my life with that Melbourne guy, than I'll be so thankful and so happy. I pray for that all the time. :)


I guess that all for now. see you later,readers! God bless